Home. Over the years this word has come to mean more and more to me. From a happy and constant childhood home, through transient student/traveller years, to setting up a life and a home with my partner; the importance of this concept has shifted for me. As Alan and I plan hopefully for a home birth for our baby, as we prepare the baby’s room, the significance of Home increases day by day.
This post is in honour of my dear friend and blog partner, Kirk, and his incredible wife, Jody.
Yesterday Jody birthed their beautiful baby daughter Eliot at home. Kirk shared a picture of Jody in labour in their bedroom, looking strong, powerful, and in her own domain. I am so inspired by Jody and so heartened that their wish for a home birth came true.
Alan and I have spent the last few years making our home into somewhere that we both feel relaxed and comfortable, where we find the aesthetics of our surroundings pleasing, and where memories layer to trigger an ever-deepening feeling of connection to one another. This is the first home we bought together, and we moved here bringing memories of the home we shared before. I feel safer here than anywhere else.
A solid base like this allows me confidence to venture into the world and take risks, be vulnerable, introduce myself to people and forge connections. I can be bolder in my life if I know I have a safe cave to retreat to. I can actually feel more part of the outside world because I can get away from it when I need to.
When I birth our baby, I don’t want to feel vulnerable, take risks, or be around new people. I want to feel safe in my cave, warm and private, and with my partner and my sister. I want our baby to be born where he will live. I want our life to look like family life the moment he is here.
I know that complications may arise which could prevent this dream birth story from coming true. Thankfully the last year taught me more about acceptance and letting go of plans than I knew I had capacity to learn. If this baby boy is born in hospital, so be it.
Today though, I am truly thankful that my friends Kirk and Jody have their baby safely with them and that they have no journey to make to get back to where they live as a family. Home.
5 responses to “Where The Heart Is”
This is just lovely…moving, inspiring. You let others into your heart in a very special way. I feel very lucky and proud to have contributed to your earliest memories of Home, and I know for sure that your son (my grandson!) has parents that will make Home a safe and happy place from which he will explore the world with confidence.
Managed all the way through the piece, filled up at yr mum’s comment. You are all lovely folk.
(Baby boy, you say?!)
So happy for the Hinkleman’s and so proud of Jody! I hope to do the same one day 🙂
I feel ………filled with awe and pride at the warm, sharing and compassionate person that you are. I am hugely fortunate to have you as my daughter. The Wee boy could not hope for finer parents in you and Alan.
This blog comes to me in an interesting moment, as I begin to take my ‘home’ apart piece by piece in preparation for a move to Indianapolis (from Florida)… I so resonate with your strong urge to create a home that comforts, cradles and connects you to what and who you are and love… and you made me realize how important it is for me as well to have a richly layered sense of home in order to be able to go out into the world with bravery. Tonight I’m going through my closet and honoring memories, gifts, people who gave them, silly little things I kept because of moments they represent for me… all which makes up who I am. Your piece bolsters me in feeling good about this part of me that treasures these things of the home as a base and foundation–not to hold me in the past as some have accused, but to give me strength and grounding to leap forward into my new life, build me a new home and create new memories.