About a year ago, I finished Parker Palmer’s Book: “A Hidden Wholeness: The Journey Toward An Undivided Life”. It came at a particularly critical time for me as I had been, and frankly still am, searching for how to live my inner self, outwardly. Once again, much like John O’Brien and his Integrity Gap nailing some guilt I’d been struggling with, with an actual name, Parker Palmer’s wisdom opens clarity about the journey I find myself in. I’ve linked in a 6-minute clip of Parker Palmer talking about what he means by ‘divided life’, where it comes from and how it can be detrimental to our living a life with true purpose.
I’m interested in being the best version of myself…but think, perhaps, I’ve been going about it the wrong way. Looking introspectively into my life, grasping a true sense of what I believe, what I stand for, then drives how I interface with the world and humans around me. If I can be my true self, then the authenticity that Palmer speaks of, permeates all interactions, connections and relationships. Subsequently, my life becomes whole, vibrant, salient and purpose-driven…and a purpose-driven life, hopefully, provides a compass for which my children perhaps will use to guide them as they evolve into contributing citizens, in their chosen places, where ever they land, and with whomever they are with.
This week I’m linking in a TED Talk about the question which stands as the foundation for our learning here on Come In From The Cold: How do we truly welcome people? Well, Jan Gunnarsson gives his answer brilliantly in this short talk. He calls it Hostmanship, the art of making people feel welcome. Jan says “we must welcome ourselves, before we can welcome others,” something I have pondered for years…we need to be right for ourselves, if we are to be right for others. Once we do this, and we ‘make the right choice’ every morning when we rise, we can truly be hosts to everyone we find ourselves around…every day of our lives and welcome, welcome, welcome. I welcome you to give yourself 8 minutes…it will be time well spent 🙂 Sending my gratitude to you all…
Today our good friend Peter Leidy contributes to Come In From The Cold as a guest blogger!!! Enjoy!!!
My wife, Betsy, and I are on the plane home after a lovely time in Puerto Vallarta. We like to stay in the old part of the city, miles away from the all-inclusive resorts, strolling the town and swimming in Banderas Bay. We love the colorful mix of locals and tourists (mostly Mexicans from Guadalajara and Canadian/US visitors.) Ahh, the days on Los Muertos beach.
Peter and Betsy
I had brought my Frisbee with the hope of finding willing players, but so far, no luck. Continue reading →
Our good friend, Sheldon Schwitek, posted this TED talk to Linda and I on Facebook a couple of weeks ago…specifically because he thought it resonates with our blog. Little did he know I would repost it…muahahahahahahaha!!!!! In all seriousness, it is being reposted because it is brilliant (Thanks Sheldon…so are you!).
A year ago, yesterday, we were blessed with the birth of our 3rd child, a daughter, Eliot Dawn. I wrote about the experience of having the opportunity to welcome her into the world in our own home, with the help of midwives, around this time last year. To read this post again, or for the first time: Eliot Dawn arrives with a lesson…
Today I watched a TED talk which I am excited to share with you. In it, Hetain Patel gently and humorously challenges our preconceptions and tendency to jump to conclusions based on initial impressions. I felt it followed from my last post, Hey Judgey-Pants! Yeah, you heard… (What a title!) He then explores how our identities might be linked to our relationships with others.
With him is a beautiful dancer called Yuyu Rau; she performs a little dance excerpt and adds real texture to his talk.
A little quote from Patel: “I believe we learn who we are by imitating others… Every time I fail to become Bruce Lee, I become more authentically me.”
It is only 9 minutes long. Make yourself a cup of tea and enjoy!
Here in the states, Thanksgiving Day came and went. As I evolve, my belief is that this particular holiday offers an opportunity for people to embrace gratitude. If you’ve been a follower of this blog, you’ll know I believe sending out your gratitude every day is something to aim for…but is not always reached (certainly for me). In this short film by Louie Schwartzberg, through his brilliant photography and cinematography, he captures the gifts surrounding us each and every day. He invites us to treat every day as if it were our ‘first day of life and last day of life’…and if we approach each day like this, ‘then it will really be a good day.’ Take 6 minutes to watch this film and try not to have an ear-to-ear smile emerge within the first 30 seconds and stay throughout the film.
I repeat these words internally daily, externally almost daily and practice them as best I can (which is certainly not daily). Relentless positivity is the foundation of Come In From The Cold, a value Linda and I agreed on at the genesis of this adventure. This short film encompasses just that…and as he says in the film, ‘every day is a gift.’
I have been lucky to make some lovely new friends during pregnancy and early parenthood; a little network of people who are sharing similar experiences at the same time as us. One of the most special new friendships is with Ivy, whom I met when we both started a pregnancy yoga class on the same day. Her beautiful baby Skye is less than two months older than our wee Findlay and I am so glad that our sons will have the opportunity to become friends. I knew straight away that I would like Ivy, but it took time and circumstance to learn just how remarkably in tune our attitudes are with one another, and how many deeply held values we share.
Ivy writes a blog and I would like to share with you a piece that she has written. Her message to her son celebrates individuality and courage, and – ultimately – community. There are indeed many people who live in fear. But there are many others who live with courage, mutual delight, and open hearts. There are many strong friendships awaiting Skye, and a network of people who are excited to share your journey. Ivy, Ryan, and Skye, we love you!
Enjoy Ivy’s beautiful writing, and this wonderful message:
Come In From The Cold · WELCOME… How can we make sure we invite everybody in, leaving nobody out in the cold? SIT… How do we get to know one another better? To start to care? STAY… How can we deepen our connections and dream together about a beloved community? This blog is a space of observations, questions and reflection about community. From San Diego and Scotland, we discovered that we needed to embark on a joint learning journey. We invite you to join us. – Kirk Hinkleman and Linda Keys